When I first started working with people as a counsellor and more recently a coach I noticed that often my clients would have a really long list of things they didn’t want.
For example, a single woman wanting a relationship would tell me all about the type of man she did not want to have a relationship with. She would be able to tell me in great detail about the personality, habits and even appearance of the man she under no circumstances wanted to meet.
What happened next?
She would come to sessions telling me how she kept meeting people who fit her description but nothing else.
This is creating your own reality in action.
Was she really creating these men? Of course not but she was giving her unconscious mind instructions about what to look out for.
Try this experiment right now. Look around the room you are in and notice anything that is Red.
Now close your eyes and notice anything ask yourself what in this room is green. Open your eyes and check. How much did you miss?
Our minds need direction on what to pay attention to and if we tell ourselves to ignore something we are merely highlighting the very thing we don’t want. For example, whatever you do right now do not think about chocolate.
So what do we need to do instead? For people looking for a relationship I give a task.
Write down on at least four sides of paper in detail what you would like in a partner. This focuses the mind on the right things and you are more likely to meet that person.
More next week.