Last week I wrote about changing external behaviours in relationship, this week I want to bring it back to the financial side of things.
As with our ability to have relationship with people we also have a relationship with money. Our relationship with money will also be tied to our values and is in many ways symbolic.
When we are afraid of losing financial security we sometimes hang onto jobs or things in a desperate attempt to feel safe. Often we still end up being afraid and maybe miserable as well.
So what do we need to do?
First things first, we need to educate ourselves. Using finances as the example make sure you know what you are spending your money on, budgets, income etc. Sometimes we do the opposite and act like the ostrich with our heads in the sand. This can lead to dangerous overspending which might short term make us feel good until we realise the trouble we are storing up for ourselves.
Some however are so obsessive about counting the pennies that they have lost sight of the bigger picture. This may involve hoarding money and never allowing ourselves to enjoy what we do have. For other this is ruthlessly pursuing increased income because we are constantly driven by a fear of there not being enough.
So the education needs to be at a level of understanding the checks and balances without our internal dialogue. It may mean taking professional advice to get perspective.
Having educated yourself it is important to keep this reality check in mind so that you can take logical decisions and step away from over emotional thinking about money.
Now we come to the interesting bit! Joe and I have discovered something called the “sinking feeling”. We noticed that some of the contracts we worked on would create an internal sinking feeling of dread. We would suppress it and carry on with a stiff upper lip.
We did this because we felt we could not afford to walk away from the contract. Very early on we discussed this feeling and made each other a promise. If either of us had that feeling we would support each other in walking away.
For us this was a massive change of behaviour. For this reason it was a positive decision. Before I talk more about this I want to point out that some people habitually walk away from things and for them staying put might be the change that is needed!
We have had three major tests of this feeling over the last 20 years. In each case we trusted the feeling and took action by walking away from work that felt negative in some way. Each time within weeks the work was replaced by something better that in each case was worth more financially. If we hadn’t walked away we wouldn’t have discovered this new work.
It was not magic!! We were open to opportunities and actively looking for them. In each case the work we walked away from was worth about a third of our income and in one case half. The new work was there because we sought it out.
We always need to take responsibility for our experiences and be prepared to take action. For us transforming from poverty to abundance consciousness was similar to how I transformed my personal relationships.
It involved putting in boundaries, valuing myself and being prepared to take risks. What do you need to look at in your life? Are you ready to make a change? If you are, when and ho?. Do it!