I wrote last week how it is possible to hold values that conflict with each other and how this might impact on our lives. Firstly let me explain what I mean.
When I first decided to become self-employed I realised that one of my strongest values was holding me back and that it was in conflict with a newly acquired value of “freedom”. Freedom had not been particularly important to me however it rose up as important as a side effect of my personal development journey.
I saw being self-employed as providing me with the freedom to choose what I did with my time and who I worked with. On the one hand it seemed a perfect way to set forth into my new life.
On the other hand security was my number one value historically and was still right up there. For me security was a value with several dimensions. It was one of the things that had kept me in an abusive marriage for six years. I had been frightened that I would not be able to financially support myself as a single woman but also I was afraid of being alone.
Freedom and security can both be seen as positive values although either one can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle if lived out of balance. It was important for me to find a way to re-balance the relationship security had with how I lived my life.
I realised that in many ways it had created a paralysis in me that prevented me from taking risks and going after what I wanted. However it had also meant that I was good at managing my finances and able to avoid getting into debt.
To completely let go of this value was unhelpful and unhealthy. I needed to keep what was most important and modify my thinking and reacting.
The same is true of freedom, if I became overly concerned with freedom I might lose other parts of myself that feel important to me.
Next week I will talk a little about how I re-balanced my values so that I could achieve the things I wanted to in my life.
I have one of my free 2 day NLP workshops coming up on 18th January. For some reason I have lots of places left this time so I’d really appreciate it if you can help me out by letting people know about the course. The details are on www.gwiznlp.com
If you haven’t done this course yourself I’d love it if you would join me.