This week I want to start exploring how we can move from being “at effect” to “at cause” in our life. You will remember from last week that being “at effect” is the experience of feeling helpless and victim like. Being “at cause” is when we have reclaimed our power.
When I first began my own personal development journey, over twenty years ago the following idea helped me to recondition my own responses. Whenever I found myself in a situation where I felt helpless or hard done by I would ask myself a question:
“How am I creating this?”
Now for those of you who have seen the movie, “The Matrix” you may well think I am heading there, and in a way I am. Only in a way. I’m not suggesting that we are all plugged into a computer however what if we were clouding our perceptions based on faulty thinking.
We are not responsible for the actions of others however sometimes we may be allowing or even encouraging behaviours in others that may be leaving us feel victim like. We may be getting ourselves into difficult situations because we are not well informed or because we set ourselves up for problems. All of this results from how we interact with the world and this is something we do have control over.
When others treat us badly or take advantage of us it is worth thinking what are we doing that gives that person permission to do that? In his book Life Strategies, Dr Phil McGraw describes what he calls the ten Life Laws and number 8 is particularly relevant with regard to the above:
“We teach others how to treat us.”
If we accept this as true it allows us to review our interactions in a new and more empowering way because here is the really good news! We are likely to get the opportunity to “do over”.
“What does that mean?” I hear you say!
We all recreate repeating cycles of behaviour and experience. As we do this we attract people into our lives who know how to deliver what we expect to receive. You will in some way be fulfilling a pattern of theirs too. This week my challenge to you is to identify the repeating patterns of behaviour in your life.
Next week we will explore some ideas to help you find these patterns and then start re-writing your script..