So far we have considered how to handle being out of balance in one dimension only. We have looked at what happens when we place too much emphasis on the opinions and feedback of others.
This week I’d like to offer you the opportunity to evaluate yourself in terms of internal referencing. This is the opposite end of the NLP metaprogram that has external referencing on one extreme and internal referencing on the other.
As I have mentioned in previous blogs many people have a mixture of referencing being internal about somethings, external about others and maybe a mix of the two in yet other contexts.
Sometimes however you may have noticed that being internally referenced has been unhelpful and of course only you will know if this is true for you.
Before considering such situations I’d first like to comment on contexts where being internally referenced may be helpful and appropriate.
For example if you are an expert in your field you may be able to accurately and easily evaluate your own performance and impact. You may be able to recognise your own development areas and things you have done well. In such situations being internally referenced is unlikely to create problems.
So for this week I would like to encourage you to decide if there are any areas in your life where you tend to work only with your own evaluation and experience some kind of issue.
As with the other end of this spectrum only you will know what is likely to be an issue for you. Next week we will explore how you might decide to make changes if you think it appropriate.
Hands up who is busily thinking of people they know who have an internal reference but don’t think it’s a problem! In a couple of weeks time we will talk about how to handle people with particular referencing strategies (on both ends of the spectrum) assertively. Watch this space.