As I continue to add my thoughts about Personal Power and how to develop it I realise how many things are connected. Over the last few weeks I have been writing about feedback and I will continue a little longer as each time I write a post I think of something else!
This week I am curious about who you choose to believe and in exploring this I would ask you to consider a category from the NLP concept of meta programs.
Meta programs are one of the ways we have in NLP for understanding how people tick. If you want to read a great book about this I recommend Shelle Rose Charvet book “Words that change minds”.
For now I would ask you to consider the program concerned with referencing. The terms are external and internal referencing.
If someone is completely externally referenced they tend to base their self evaluation on feedback received from others only. By the same token someone who is completely internally referenced will not take other people’s opinions into account at all.
It is possible to be balanced or to have a preference but with a check at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Issues can arise from a personal power perspective if we have an extreme profile on either end of this continuum. To be completely externally referenced can be to place our self esteem into the hands of others while being completely internally referenced may cause challenges to growth.
The question we use to identify where we are on this meta program is:
“How do you know you’ve done a good job?”
Here is an important point, we can be different in different contexts and the more self aware we are of our process the less of an issue it is likely to be.
For this week I would like you just to consider your own referencing preference and next week I will delve into the topic a little deeper.