I was reminded this week of one my personal self-sabotage strategies. There have been times in my life (many of them) when I have said the phrase “I deserve it” either to myself or to someone else just before engaging in a behaviour that is in some way unhealthy for me.
I have noticed this is something many other people do too. In my case it usually proceeds eating something that I will late regret. For other people I have noticed them using this phrase just before smoking a cigarette, drinking alcohol or spending money they don’t have. I am sure there are many other applications too.
I want to break this down a little. Firstly in the case of food, I get that it is good to give yourself a treat. In my opinion usually a little bit of what you fancy does you good! So for me it is mainly chocolate, I include my favourite treat in my healthy eating plan. Jillian Michaels, the personal trainer I mentioned last week recommends that you allow as much as 20% of your calories for treat foods. This avoids feelings of deprivation.
However the deserving phrase slips out for me when I over-indulge. My husband, Joe pointed it out to me and as we discussed it I began to notice what he was getting at. The deserving was really about punishing myself, I was saying “I deserve it” in a negative way. Perhaps there is more to the sentence, could it be:
“I deserve to be fat”?
Considering that phrase has made me wonder how many other people are doing the same thing. I wonder what other seemingly innocent or positive phrases are really disguised negative phrases. Let me know what you think and what self defeating phrases you may have been using. Next week I will suggest how we might counter such negative self talk.
I’m keeping is short this week as I am about to start teaching day two of our NLP Master Practitioner programme, we have a great group of people on the workshop, I’ll see what they think about this topic.
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