This week I’m breaking from the string of blogs on limiting beliefs because something has happened for me personally this week.
On Wednesday my lovely, lovely, father-in-law, Bob passed on unexpectedly. Although he was 82 years old he was doing remarkably well and we had no reason to expect his sudden departure.
My husband Joe and I went up to Nottingham to be with his mother that same day. I had to come back the next day to cover some work for Joe on Friday. I thought I was going to be okay but then I started to feel my own loss. Bob had been very important to me to and I loved him very much.
My programmed way of dealing with stress based on my childhood experience was to turn to food and stuff the pain away by eating. Food was my drug of choice. I didn’t tend to reach out to others because in my childhood there was no one to reach out to. As I got older I became an expert at shutting others out who wanted to help.
I have changed my internal life a great deal and the cravings were much less but they were still there. Here is what I did. I reached out and spoke to a friend, Alison. She is one of the kindest people I know. I also allowed myself to respond to several other friends who had kind words for both Joe and I. I also allowed myself to eat some carb heavy food but I choose healthy, whole and organic versions. Interestingly enough by allowing myself to do this without guilt I seemed to be satisfied much quicker than I expected to be.
I share my story with you today for two reasons. The first is to break my own pattern of not letting others in. By telling you my story I am acknowledging my own vulnerability and avoiding giving an impression of super woman! Secondly I also want my story to offer a reality check. It is important to honour your feelings if you are facing a life stressor. We need to develop healthier ways of handling our experience however if we do fall into old habits we need to be kind to ourselves. Acknowledge what we have done and take steps to move on.
I hope my words help you. I may still be on this topic next week or I may go back to talking about limiting beliefs. I trust you will support me in being where I need to be.
Be kind to yourself too this week.