Emotional stress and binge eating, sometime you have to be kind to yourself!

This week I’m breaking from the string of blogs on limiting beliefs because something has happened for me personally this week.

On Wednesday my lovely, lovely, father-in-law, Bob passed on unexpectedly. Although he was 82 years old he was doing remarkably well and we had no reason to expect his sudden departure.

My husband Joe and I went up to Nottingham to be with his mother that same day. I had to come back the next day to cover some work for Joe on Friday. I thought I was going to be okay but then I started to feel my own loss. Bob had been very important to me to and I loved him very much.

My programmed way of dealing with stress based on my childhood experience was to turn to food and stuff the pain away by eating. Food was my drug of choice. I didn’t tend to reach out to others because in my childhood there was no one to reach out to. As I got older I became an expert at shutting others out who wanted to help.

I have changed my internal life a great deal and the cravings were much less but they were still there. Here is what I did. I reached out and spoke to a friend, Alison. She is one of the kindest people I know. I also allowed myself to respond to several other friends who had kind words for both Joe and I. I also allowed myself to eat some carb heavy food but I choose healthy, whole and organic versions. Interestingly enough by allowing myself to do this without guilt I seemed to be satisfied much quicker than I expected to be.

I share my story with you today for two reasons. The first is to break my own pattern of not letting others in. By telling you my story I am acknowledging my own vulnerability and avoiding giving an impression of super woman! Secondly I also want my story to offer a reality check. It is important to honour your feelings if you are facing a life stressor. We need to develop healthier ways of handling our experience however if we do fall into old habits we need to be kind to ourselves. Acknowledge what we have done and take steps to move on.

I hope my words help you. I may still be on this topic next week or I may go back to talking about limiting beliefs. I trust you will support me in being where I need to be.

Be kind to yourself too this week.

About Melody @ GWizlearning

Melody spent fourteen years gathering experience of the business world working in banking, telecommunications and the public sector before co-founding The GWiz Learning Partnership in 1993. Melody has a Masters Degree in Applied Positive Psychology, a degree in Psychology and a diploma in Psychotherapy. She is an NLP Master Trainer which allows her to run NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner and NLP Trainer Training courses certified by the Positive School of Intrinsic Neuro-Linguistc Psychology. She is also a qualified Myers Briggs practitioner and EI practitioner and added to all this is five years Transactional Analysis training, meaning she is able to help organisations access the hidden potential in their staff. She is also in demand for her work in transforming average or even troubled teams into high performers. Melody is a visiting lecturer at University of East London, teaching "Wellbeing and Positive Psychology" to undergraduates. Additionally, she is a member of the CIPD and is ILM accredited. Melody's interests are many and varied. She has a keen interest in personal development, canine and wolf psychology, conservation, movies and running. She also enjoys western horse riding, walking the GWiz dogs, nature watching and stage combat (particularly sword fighting).
This entry was posted in Emotional Awareness, Life in General, Weight loss and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Emotional stress and binge eating, sometime you have to be kind to yourself!

  1. sosnlpblog says:

    HI Melody, May I extend sympathy for your loss and admiration for your post. A very heart felt gesture to share what your going through and allowing others to change through sharing and modeling. Hope you enjoy your weekend and times to come. Paul

  2. Melody Cheal says:

    Thanks Paul, your kind words are appreciated

  3. louise says:

    Sorry to hear of your loss, l remember you saying on the NLP diploma course how Joe and his Dad had become more physically close with hugs as welcome, how lovely they were able to show their love before more time passed.

  4. chris says:

    melody love to you and jo and so sorry for your loss.
    the world always seems a smaller place when people you love leave it. x thanks for sharing so we can all rememebr to learn nad be mindful despite the grief and sorrow x

  5. Melody Cheal says:

    Thanks Chris, lovely of you to say

  6. jean maslen says:

    Der Mel,
    So sorry to hear you are going through a sad time just now
    I know that one day soon you will be able to remember with joy and happiness your father-in-law Bobs life, but for now let yourself be where you need to be and be kind to yourself.

  7. jean maslen says:

    Sorry had trouble with message. Love and sympathy to you both, Auntie Jeanxx

  8. Hartnell, Naomi says:

    Please send my condolences to Joe and tell him I am thinking of you both…

    Dr Naomi Hartnell Deputy Principal Educational Psychologist Luton tel 07717 541626


  9. wendystrohm says:

    So sorry to hear of your loss and sending hugs to you and Joe

  10. JO says:

    Really sorry to hear about your loss. To have amazing people in our life’s is such a gift but the loss they leave is huge.
    I am sure he would be proud that you reached out for help when needed it. Look after you and joe xx

  11. Melody Cheal says:

    Thank you for your lovely words


  12. Sallie Crawley says:

    Melody, my thoughts and love are with you and Joe. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

    Did you know it was time to fly?
    I didn’t want to say goodbye
    We all know this is not the end
    Farewell for now my dear, dear friend.


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