On Friday we completed our most recent NLP Practitioner programme. We had an amazing group of people who all did brilliantly! Many of them experienced significant personal change as part of the programme. It was amazing to watch as the students stepped into their personal power and magnificence. It was a great reminder to me of how amazing it is when people get into the driving seat of their own lives and make things happen.
Many people get to a point in their life where they want things to be different. They may have said to themselves,
“enough is enough”
“there must be more to life than this”.
This crisis point is often enough motivation to help that change happen. Attending a workshop such as ours is one way to do that. My intention in writing this blog is to help even more people step into the life they really want. Remember even if what I am writing is helpful to you it is okay to get help and support in your journey.
This week I am writing about some of the considerations you need to include in your thinking as you transform your limiting beliefs into empowering ones.
There is one thing that is often overlooked, the impact of personal change on those around us. In weight loss this is just as relevant as with other issues. When a person changes in any way there is always a ripple effect. Sometimes this ripple is positive however there can sometimes be unintended consequences that are unwanted.
In previous blogs I have written about the positive intentions behind our limiting beliefs. In constructing replacement empowering beliefs it is just as important for us to consider what positive intention is in play when we change our beliefs.
For example if you have identified that being over-weight has been a way of making sure you avoided unwanted sexual attention this needs to be taken into account when constructing a new empowering belief. As you become successful in changing your body shape you probably will attract more attention. It is therefore important to ensure that you build new positive beliefs that will allow you to maintain your boundaries in a powerful and appropriate way.
This might involve also taking some action, for example you may need to learn how to use assertive techniques to make it clear when attention is unwanted. You might also need to learn how to recognise non verbal signals in others that you have not been aware of in the past. This can all be learnt and added to the processes I am sharing with you about how to update your beliefs.
Ecology is a related concept. This is about specifically taking into account the ripple effect. For example if you are in a relationship what role does your current body shape and belief system have in your relationship? Assuming you are in a relationship that you want to keep what do you need to do to manage how your positive changes impact on your relationship?
Sometimes as we improve our self-esteem we may realise we are in a relationship that is unhealthy and may choose to leave it however for some people the relationship still has value. Maintaining the relationship is often about keeping the communication lines open and noticing how our partner is feeling as we change. It is not uncommon for a partner to start feeling insecure for example. They may then start sabotaging your efforts often unconsciously. They need to know you are still interested in them.
For some of us the extra attention and compliments can be intoxicating and we perhaps encourage it. This can also create feelings of insecurity in a partner. Part of our personal development needs to include monitoring how our changes are impacting on those we care about. We need to be compassionate without surrendering to our old patterns. We can change, we can experience the good things in life and at the same time ensure that our positive changes do not create unwanted negative ones.
If you would like some tips on how to manage your relationship you might want to read our series of articles on the topic. This series of articles were published in the ANLP magazine “Rapport”. Below is a link to our articles page.
More next week.