Achieving your Weight loss goals, getting started

Last week I asked you if you were ready to get started. How did you answer?

In order to get things started you need to get clear in your own mind what it is you want and why? This provides you with a sense of purpose and meaning which in turn is likely to boost your motivation. With this in mind take some time now to answer the following questions and write down your answers. There is research to suggest that writing down our goals and reasons for them increases the likelihood of us succeeding. We are also more motivated when we have a “why”.

What is it you want to achieve?

Write down your goals with as much specific detail as possible, so if you want to lose weight how much? What clothing size do you want to be etc.






Now reframe this into a positive frame, what I mean by this is make sure the wording is talking about what you want rather than what you don’t want. So for example here is mine.

“My goal is for 140 pounds to be my normal and natural weight. This will allow me to wear clothes in the UK sizing of 10 to 12. My clothes will hang well on my frame and look attractive. I will feel healthy and have more energy. “

Notice that I am “owning” my goal, it is about me, for me and talks about things that are within my control.

The next step is to answer the following question:

Consider how you have been up until now. How has that been helpful to you?

 This is about uncovering the positive intention behind your old behaviours, this is a term used in NLP.

Definition: Positive intention is the motivation behind an option or behaviour. This is connected to ecology and is also an NLP pre-supposition – all behaviour and beliefs arise from a positive intention. For change to be long lasting the positive intention must be preserved or replaced with something even more compelling. If you don’t handle the positive intention of the old behaviour, you may get unconscious resistance. Positive intention can be elicited by asking: “What does that give/get you?”

Remember that even if you think there was nothing positive about the old way of being that there will have been an underlying motivation that was intended to help you in some way. It may have protected you in some way, given you permission to avoid certain situations or criticism etc. By identifying what this underlying motivation is we are in a better position to do something to make a change while still maintaining that positive intention.

Having identified this positive intention consider at least three ways you can achieve the same intention in a more appropriate and healthy way. So for example if your weight has been a protection for you up until now identity three different ways you can protect yourself that is more in keeping with your future self. This might be for example learning how to set boundaries, express yourself assertively or ask for help. You might need to commit to getting some help and support in developing these strategies, if that is the case investigate how you might do that.

Now let’s ramp up that motivation a bit more. From an NLP perspective you are going to engage aspects of a “metaprogram” called “away from and towards”.

Defintion: Meta Programs are our underlying unconscious filters. They are ‘programs about programs’ or ‘programs that run programs’. In any given context, they tell us what programs to run. This determines:

  • What motivates and convinces us,
  • How we filter and sort information,
  • How we communicate.

The first part is the away from the pain of your current situation. By raising your awareness of this pain you begin to increase your motivation to make a change.

Consider the way you have been up until now. Write down all the disadvantages of staying that way. Consider every aspect of your life that might be impacted, how much would it cost you to keep going the way you have been, emotionally, psychologically, physically, in terms of health, financially etc.

 The second part of the metaprogram is about moving towards pleasure. For this you write down the positive benefits you will gain from changing your behaviours and how you treat your body. Again consider all angles, emotionally, psychologically, physically, in terms of health, financially etc.

 Now write down the next  smallest step that you can take that will take you toward your goal.

 Now take that step….

Let me know how you get on. Next week I will give you the next set of exercises.







About Melody @ GWizlearning

Melody spent fourteen years gathering experience of the business world working in banking, telecommunications and the public sector before co-founding The GWiz Learning Partnership in 1993. Melody has a Masters Degree in Applied Positive Psychology, a degree in Psychology and a diploma in Psychotherapy. She is an NLP Master Trainer which allows her to run NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner and NLP Trainer Training courses certified by the Positive School of Intrinsic Neuro-Linguistc Psychology. She is also a qualified Myers Briggs practitioner and EI practitioner and added to all this is five years Transactional Analysis training, meaning she is able to help organisations access the hidden potential in their staff. She is also in demand for her work in transforming average or even troubled teams into high performers. Melody is a visiting lecturer at University of East London, teaching "Wellbeing and Positive Psychology" to undergraduates. Additionally, she is a member of the CIPD and is ILM accredited. Melody's interests are many and varied. She has a keen interest in personal development, canine and wolf psychology, conservation, movies and running. She also enjoys western horse riding, walking the GWiz dogs, nature watching and stage combat (particularly sword fighting).
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5 Responses to Achieving your Weight loss goals, getting started

  1. JO says:

    Thank you so much I am finding these blogs so helpful. I have just read this weeks. I am embarking on changing my lifestyle to enable me to be healthy. I have to loose at least ten stone so it feels quite daunting at times but I want to live a healthy life. I have decided this time I don’t want the usual weight loss club because I want this to be more than following an eating plan. I have been large all my life and have in past lost six stone. I don’t feel I have ever made any really deep lasting changes when doing this and as soon as something very stressful I begin comfort eating again. I know my relationship with food is complex and wish I understood more. I believe this blog will help me.

    • Hi Jo

      Thank you so much for your message. Stay in touch and let me know how you get on.

      Do you have a good support network of people who understand what kind of help you need? Remember how important it is to have people to reach out to.

      Let me know if there are any specific things you need help with as we progress through the workshop part of this process.

      Warm anchors


  2. JO says:

    Thank you again. A group of friends have created a small support group which is currently working brilliantly. We all have out own goals and check in daily with how we are doing. We are holding a monthly pamper session with the first this week. I am just trying to do the visualisation. It’s very interesting as I find it hard to see myself now as really do not look at myself. I have using photos managed to do it though. As for slimmer me this is very hard. I have never been slim so really struggle. Any tips how I can do it? I managed to find innerstrength today to weigh myself. I do not want to be obsessed with weekly weigh in but need to keep a monthly check.
    Great blog again and kind regards.

  3. Hi Jo

    The support group sounds brilliant!

    Take your time with the visualisation, it might take a little while if you have been avoiding looking at yourself. So let’s try it in steps.

    Are you comfortable to look at your face in the mirror?

    If the answer is “no” I am going to recommend that you do. if necessary get someone from your group to be with you as you do. Ask your support person to read this note

    “Help Jo recognise that she is a good person, help her look at her own image kindly”

    If your support person has similar challenges you can do the same for her.

    Once you can look at your own image in the mirror go back to the first visualisation exercise. Let me know how you get on and then we can start building your future picture.

    It is time to allow yourself to love yourself in the here and now, you deserve it, you are worthwhile and you matter. Embrace your own magnificence, I can see it in your writing. :0)

    • JO says:

      Thank you for your lovey response. I can look at my face so will start with that x many thanks as slways

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