I write this blog as the final day of the Olympics progresses toward an exciting finale. Watching all the athletes and sportsmen and women this week has been very inspirational. Both in success and less than they hoped for there has been an overwhelming sense that these people operate from strong core values.
Many expressed their values as they thanked those who had helped them, talked about their own persistence and dedication to reaching a personal goal. The British team was truly a team with people who normally work alone giving clear signals that they felt part of something bigger than themselves.
According to Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein “living a responsible life based on a set of thoughtful values” is an essential ingredient for a resilient mind set and I agree. For me this is connected to having a sense of life purpose, knowing what you contribute to the world and what is important to you. When we recognise our values and mindfully align our lives to our value set we experience a sense of congruence. This in turn leads to inner peace and stability providing a firm foundation from which to tackle life’s curve balls.
Perhaps reading this you may be thinking how obvious these points are, however consider this, do you know what your values are?
Many people have not stopped to consider this important question and may not know how to go about identifying what is most important to them. One way to start is to consider the following questions:
What is important to me in the context of
- Coummunity, small or large e.g. team, village, country, world.
- Ecology and conservation?
There are many other heading you can consider, these are just a few to get you started. With each category dig deeper. Whatever answer you come up with ask yourself what is important to you about that too.
Let’s take an example, money. We all have a relationship of some sort around money and there are values attached to this relationship. Do you know what yours are? Here are some possible answers that might come from people with differing values.
- It pays the bills.
- Means I can do the things I want.
- I can stop worrying when I have it
- Money is corrupt.
- Money is the root of all evil.
- Money is power.
- Money gives status.
The above responses are just a few. If we dig deeper we might come up with core values such as security, freedom, significance, connection, integrity etc. A person giving a negative answer to the importance of money is likely to be expressing a value that is the opposite of the negative they have mentioned. If you dig into a number of categories you will eventually start to notice themes, certain values will crop up in most categories for you. These will be your core values.
In NLP we have a number of exercises that allow people to explore their values. Sometimes we discover that a value may be creating obstacles in our lives, by identifying the value we can make adjustments that allow us to lead the life we dream of. This leads to greater internal integrity and more resilience. The thought out nature of values is only possible when we examine and challenge the values we have been living by. It is possible to review and adjust value sets that are not serving us.
Let me know what surprises you uncover as you explore your own value sets. Those of you who have already done this write to me with stories of how you have applied your value set to living a resilient life. These stories are a wonderful way to help others.
Quick reminder we have several workshops coming up and we’d love you to join us:
September: Transactional Analysis for Coaches, Trainers and Leaders
October: Hypnotherapy training up to Master Practitioner level
November: Free 2 day NLP 101 in Lewes, East Sussex
Decemberr: Free 2 day NLP 101 followed by NLP Diploma in Bedfordshire
For more information follow the link below!