This week I am continuing my series of blogs looking at the factors involved in resilient mindsets as described by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein in their book “The Power of Resilience”. According to Brooks and Goldstein effective problem solving and good decision making are important skills for developing resilience.
On reading this I decided to reflect on my own views around this and realised it makes sense to me too. There are many books on problem solving and decision making however I am not sure this is just a skills issue.
So what is the important aspect?
Surprise, surprise it is mindsets yet again. This is something I realise Joe and I have good strategies for. I’ll use an example to let you know what I mean.
We own a house in a beautiful setting in Sussex that we would like to eventually move to letting go of our property in Bedfordshire. The location is spectacular with amazing views however the house is very small and accessed via a bumpy unmade road. We needed more space so we could run our business from home.
Step one of problem solving we started the procedure to get an extension. Although we could get one it still wouldn’t be big enough for our needs.
So what did we do next?
This is where mindsets come into play. We could have got upset or angry or just plain disappointed. We could have launched a campaign to try and convince the planning department to let us have our own way.
We didn’t do any of that we just asked ourselves a very important question.
Okay what’s plan “B”.
We had believed that we couldn’t afford to buy a bigger house but now we started checking that out and found that we could get more than we thought. We then started looking at property.
We were told by estate agents that we couldn’t get what we wanted and still have a location on the Forest. We stayed open minded and whenever we viewed a property we asked ourselves questions.
“Does it already give us what we want?”
If “no” what could we do to create what we want at this property?
Each time we thought we’d found the right place we got excited however two or three times in a row something came up very quickly that made it unsuitable. As soon as that happened we let go of the property emotionally and got excited about looking again.
We have now found a property that fits the bill, we will need to do quite a bit of work which means we can put our own stamp on it! The amount of work that needs doing is quite a lot however we have kept a positive mindset and now see this as a good thing giving us more options.
So what are the important qualities that his experience demonstrates?
- Start open minded with any problem or decision.
- Avoid becoming emotionally attached to just one solution or decision.
- Be flexible.
- Look beyond the obvious, get perspective, be creative and have vision. See what could be not just what is.
- Be flexible (yes I know it’s in there twice, it’s that important!).
- Let go of solutions and decisions that don’t work as soon as you realise, and let go joyfully!
To give a counter to this watch some of the property shows on TV. There are several that our aimed at helping people find their dream homes. In many cases these would be movers have a long list of criteria that they stick to rigidly. They tend to be closed to ideas that would allow them to create exactly what they want. Some are still looking years after their first thought to move!
What are your thoughts and ideas? Let me know if you agree or disagree with my list of qualities or if you think I’ve missed anything out.
Quick reminder we have several workshops coming up and we’d love you to join us:
September: Transactional Analysis for Coaches, Trainers and Leaders
October: Free 2 day NLP 101 followed by NLP Diploma
October: Hypnotherapy training up to Master Practitioner level
For more information follow the link below!