Our intrinsic nature is revealed in service to others

Early this morning I took my two dogs out for a walk on the beautiful Ashdown Forest. The Forest is breath taking all year round but this morning with the frost framing all the trees and ferns and the breaking dawn sunlight painting the scene golden and bronze it was awe inspiring.

It was the perfect place to ponder the next PSiNLP pre-supposition:

“Our intrinsic nature is revealed in service to others as we support them in the exchange of energy and information leading to self actualisation.”

So here is the paradox, there I was alone apart from the dogs pondering how important it is for us to express ourselves through service to others.

We included this pre-supposition because it provides an essential balance for any of us on our personal development journey. So why?

For many people personal development begins with re-connecting with our own sense of self worth and value. This is appropriate and important however for many people this can create an ego-centric attitude to life. It is almost as if this is necessary in order to re-connect with our own magnificence.

I confess this did happen to me and I was very focused on my own outcomes for a while not realising how I was disregarding others without meaning too. I got so caught up in needing to express myself that I didn’t always listen to others.

The PSiNLP pre-supposition provides the counter balance:

“Our intrinsic nature is revealed in service to others as we support them in the exchange of energy and information leading to self actualisation.”

We need to recognise how service to others helps us to redefine our relationship with the universe. We need to understand that it is possible to value ourselves, maintain healthy boundaries and be there for others.

Being of service to others can mean providing a gentle listening ear, forgiving people who behave unkindly or actively giving support to another person.

Does this mean we allow others to mistreat us? No, not at all however we do not need to be drawn into unhealthy dramas and conflicts. We can put in boundaries and be clear about what is okay and what is not. This can be a form of service.

Even more challenging can be to become a mirror for another person. This can involve in being clear about not supporting someone who is stuck in a victim role to stay there for instance.

When people are experiencing painful  events in their lives they sometimes get stuck in a cycle of distress. They go over the story endlessly, creating layer after layer of pain. Friends and relatives often find themselves listening to this endless stream of pain because to do anything else could seem heartless.

Paradoxically it can often be far kinder to interrupt the pattern of story telling, to help that individual to gain a new perspective on how they are keeping themselves trapped.

It is important to emphasise here that it is inappropriate to tell someone who has just experienced a major loss or tragedy to cheer up! There is a healthy process, we all need to experience our feelings. So to be of service to others through hard times we need to learn to recognise when to provide listening and when to introduce challenge.

The above is merely an introduction on how we can be of service to others, there are many other ways. What is important about service for you?

As we approach the Festive Season I invite you to consider the final PSiNLP pre-supposition for yourself:

“Everything we desire we already have, just perhaps not in the form we think we want.”

 Merry Anchors to you all!

About Melody @ GWizlearning

Melody spent fourteen years gathering experience of the business world working in banking, telecommunications and the public sector before co-founding The GWiz Learning Partnership in 1993. Melody has a Masters Degree in Applied Positive Psychology, a degree in Psychology and a diploma in Psychotherapy. She is an NLP Master Trainer which allows her to run NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner and NLP Trainer Training courses certified by the Positive School of Intrinsic Neuro-Linguistc Psychology. She is also a qualified Myers Briggs practitioner and EI practitioner and added to all this is five years Transactional Analysis training, meaning she is able to help organisations access the hidden potential in their staff. She is also in demand for her work in transforming average or even troubled teams into high performers. Melody is a visiting lecturer at University of East London, teaching "Wellbeing and Positive Psychology" to undergraduates. Additionally, she is a member of the CIPD and is ILM accredited. Melody's interests are many and varied. She has a keen interest in personal development, canine and wolf psychology, conservation, movies and running. She also enjoys western horse riding, walking the GWiz dogs, nature watching and stage combat (particularly sword fighting).
This entry was posted in NLP, NLP Master Practitioner, NLP Practitioner, NLP Trainer's Training, Personal Development and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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