Creating Our Own Reality!

What if we change our inner self, will the external world change. If we all make a difference will the problems of the world cease to be? Will there be whole planet alignment. So if your personal world transforms as mine did are we one step closer to the whole planet transforming!

The following is an extract from our NLP Master Practitioner Manual. Understanding how our internal world is reflected in the outside world is a key ingredient of this course.


Loop quantum gravity suggests that there are no things, only relationships (and tangles of relationships that give the illusion of things). Consider that in nominalising, we convert processes (verbs) into things (nouns). Perhaps everything is actually non-nominalising.

Quantum physics states that light can be a particle or a wave depending on how it is observed and perceived. It is either (and both) a thing (nominalised) and a process (denominalised).

“Real is what a sufficiently large number of people have agreed to call real – except that this fact is usually forgotten; the agreed-upon definition is reified (that is, made into a ‘thing’ in its own right) and is eventually experienced as that objective reality ‘out there’ which apparently only a madman can fail to see.”

Paul Watzlawick et al (1974)

How do we construct/create our Reality?

We experience ‘external reality’ (what we think of as real and outside ourselves experienced through our senses) and ‘internal reality’ (what we think of as real and inside ourselves) through our perception/internal representation/memory.

We make something real by mapping our ‘internal reality’ onto our ‘external reality’ and vice versa. When the two realities tally, we consider it Real.

Mapping Internal to External

By having thought, we define a thing (putting it in a box) and so manifest it into reality. For example, if I consider that I have a problem, I define it as a problem (“it’s my problem”) and so I manifest the problem into reality (“it’s a real problem!”). I may even project that the problem is ‘out there’ in the external world.

Everything you experience started as a thought.   It is as if we place our map of the world ‘out there’ to form the physical reality. A version of this manifestation is in projection. Projection is a psychological term meaning “to transfer one’s own feelings, emotions or motivations into another person or thing without realising one’s reaction is really more about oneself than it is about the other person”.

Have you ever noticed how someone who is tired often comments on how tired people look? And how someone who is down seems to see other people as being down?

In Transactional Analysis, there is a term ‘Family of Origin’. This is where we go into new group situations (eg. work team) and project our experience of family onto the team. For example, we look for the grandparent figures, the mother, father and siblings.

The Universal Mirror  

The Universal Mirror principle is based on the premise that our external reality is a reflection of our internal reality. What if this were true…

The Universe: The world beyond our immediate perception. Until perceived, it consists of pure potentiality.

Immediate World: That which we directly perceive and experience at any given moment in time.

Conscious Mind: Our awareness at any given moment. We can consciously hold about 7+/-2 chunks of information in our conscious mind at any one time.

Unconscious Mind: The storehouse of memories, beliefs, values etc.

Higher Conscious Mind: Our connection to ‘All That Is’, Godhead, Creator, Collective Unconscious etc. It consists of pure potentiality. We experience this as ‘the Void’ during deep trance or meditation.

By making changes to the internal reality, we change our experience of the external reality. Since our experience is all we have of the external reality, as far as we are concerned, we have changed the external reality itself.

Once we have faced certain situations and changed our internal reality of those situations, they don’t seem to happen in the same way anymore. For example, I used to have a particular type of ‘difficult’ delegate on some of the training courses I ran.

I looked for the pattern in these interactions and came to the realisation that they were a mirror for a dynamic I had with my father. I addressed this dynamic with him using NLP interventions and Transactional Analysis principles. This transformed my relationship with my father. He changed! Or did he? Certainly a troubling aspect of our relationship has disappeared.

I transferred and generalised this learning to other areas of my life automatically. As a result, I dealt with a couple of the parallel experiences on my training courses successfully and now I never seem to see that type of difficult person anymore. (I wonder where they have all gone away now!).

What if by healing our own inner conflicts and finding peace within ourselves the outer world also found peace! Wouldn’t that be something to embrace?

To find out more about our NLP Master Practitioner follow the link below:

Next week we will begin a new topic. Remember if there is something you would like me to write about do let me know.

About Melody @ GWizlearning

Melody spent fourteen years gathering experience of the business world working in banking, telecommunications and the public sector before co-founding The GWiz Learning Partnership in 1993. Melody has a Masters Degree in Applied Positive Psychology, a degree in Psychology and a diploma in Psychotherapy. She is an NLP Master Trainer which allows her to run NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner and NLP Trainer Training courses certified by the Positive School of Intrinsic Neuro-Linguistc Psychology. She is also a qualified Myers Briggs practitioner and EI practitioner and added to all this is five years Transactional Analysis training, meaning she is able to help organisations access the hidden potential in their staff. She is also in demand for her work in transforming average or even troubled teams into high performers. Melody is a visiting lecturer at University of East London, teaching "Wellbeing and Positive Psychology" to undergraduates. Additionally, she is a member of the CIPD and is ILM accredited. Melody's interests are many and varied. She has a keen interest in personal development, canine and wolf psychology, conservation, movies and running. She also enjoys western horse riding, walking the GWiz dogs, nature watching and stage combat (particularly sword fighting).
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4 Responses to Creating Our Own Reality!

  1. Melody this piece is written in a sinuously clear striking way and I like the way you have expressed deep and meaningful aspects of the changing processes one can consider if they wish to make internal changes. Warm regards Eileen

  2. Sarah Bliss says:

    So, I am what I see and I see what I am? And if I want to change I need to look at things in a different way. Really enjoyed reading this, thank you.

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